Shattered Dreams
by SachiTheBeautifulRose
Summary: I can't really think of a summary for this...it's pretty much a story about a girl and Kai. One-shot. R&R please.


This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever written in my life. But I was brave enough to put it up anyway. I know it's bad, so don't bother telling me that, I was just experimenting with a different way of writing.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own beyblade...I don't own Kai...and I certainly don't own anything that would make you want to sue me, so please don't.

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**Shattered Dreams**  
  
I shift nervously in my seat, wondering if you see me. I wish you would see me, just having you notice me would be enough. At least that way I know you've seen me, I wish for that so. But even more I wish that you were with me. Here beside me right now, oh but what a hopeless dreamer I am. Why would you waste your time on me? You don't waste your time on anyone. Winning is what you live for, and nothing else. Though despite that fact, loving you is what I live for. But none of that would matter to you; you don't even know who I am. Why do I love you so then? If you don't even know my name, why do I love you? 

You're always so determined, if you want something, you'll get it. Why can't I be like that? Then maybe, just maybe, I'd have you. Oh how wonderful that would be, how wonderful that sounds to me. Being with you, feeling your gentle touch, feeling your lips gently press against mine. But why do I dream like this? Why do I do this, when I know it will all end in pain? But even so...I want to be with you. More than anything that is what I long for. My secret that no one must know.

I watch you every chance I get. I try to get close enough to touch you, just brush against you. I'll brush against you and then you'll turn to see who it was that did. I'll stare into your wine-red eyes, and I'll lose myself.

What am I thinking? Why do I torture myself with my dreams? I know you would never share this feeling of love with me. Your heart is set on a higher goal, the only goal for you.

Winning.

But why is winning so important for you? Or if you were to meet me would your goals change? Maybe if you were to meet me, I would be your goal. Obtaining me as your own would be your one goal. The thing you would want most of all would be me.

Me?

Why me? Why would you want me? I ask myself this every day, every time I see you I ask myself this. And I always give myself the same answer.

You wouldn't.

But I still can't tear myself away from these feelings. I can't hide these feelings for you.

I wish I could though.

Hiding them would be so much easier, ignoring them would make it better. But I can't, I've tried and tried, Oh how I've tried. And it doesn't work. I can't hide these feelings for you. So now my only wish is that you would feel these same feelings for me, I want to share these feelings with you. I don't want to hide them from you anymore.

But I have to.

There's nothing else I can do but hide them. I don't know you, just your name which I let past my lips so many times in one day. I say your name, I then imagine myself with you.

Then you say my name. And everything is okay, because I'm with you.

It can't be like that.  
  
I know it can't, I've told myself that as well. I know everything I wish and dream for so dearly will never happen. And feeling like this only makes the pain that much worse.

But I want you to say my name.

Then I would be happy, just hearing you say my name, oh what a wonder that would be. How would that sound coming from you? Would you say it with love, would it be sincere?

Or would it be a lie?  
  
If you were to say it with love, would that love be real? Or would it be a lie? You're known for lying. Everyone says you lie. But how could that be? You're the one I love. So then if you do lie, it would be so much worse. If you were to lie to me, and if I love you, what would happen? Would I lose my feelings for you? The feelings I've kept hidden from everyone for so long, the feelings I want to express to you. Would I lose those if you were to lie?

No.  
  
I can't lose these feelings I've harbored in my heart forever. No matter what you did, I would always love you. But is that the right thing to do?

No.

It's not, and I know that. But I can't help my feelings because they won't change. You'll never feel the same way about me, but I will always feel this way. So even though I know I shouldn't, even though I know it won't work, and even though I know you'll never feel the same way.

I'll still love you.

Yes, I will always love you. With all my heart, and all my soul. I will love you for all of eternity. I want to call you my own. Though you don't love me, so I can't.

But how I want to.

How I long to call you my own.

If only I could call you my own. If only I could say you were mine and mine alone.

But I can't.

And I understand that, but I long for that.

I come back from my thoughts to see you in the arena; you're about to battle. How will it end? Will you win like usual, or will he beat you?  
  
You ignore the crowd all around you and all the adoring fans. You keep your eyes on the prize.

Winning.

You want to beat him, which is what you're focusing everything on.

Beating him, beating anyone that should oppose you, that's all you care about.

That's how you've been raised.  
  
I shift in my seat again, I'm so nervous. The butterflies in my stomach are fluttering faster and faster the longer I watch you.

You glance quickly around the stadium, scanning the crowd. Girls scream for your attention, hoping you'll nod to them or give them a quick smile. Everyone around me stands up screaming they love you. But they don't the same way I do. I love you because of who you are not what you have. And that's all they care about. So I stay sitting down and feel my face flush as you look our way. Everyone around me screams your name but I just watch you.

Then our gazes meet.

You looked at me.

You've finally seen me.

But as I thought, you did nothing.

You quickly looked on, as if you were looking for someone. But who could that be?  
  
Who would you be looking for?

You turn back to the boy that you'll be blading against and get ready, saying nothing.

The battle is over seconds after it begins.

You won, as you always do. I quickly leave the stadium before anyone else, hoping to see you on the way out.

Why do I dream like this?  
  
You won't see me.

But I go on anyway. I push and shove through the crowd until I'm finally in the lobby.

I see you.

You're almost out the door.

I'm so close to you.

I run after you, but I don't do anything.

I long to call your name.

But you won't do anything. You may look back, but you won't do anything. You don't love me, you don't even know me.

But if only you did.

Now at least you know what I look like, and maybe you'll remember me. Maybe you will at least remember what I looked like, for I know you'll learn nothing more about me.

I just watch you walk out the door and down the street, I want to go after you, to tell you my feelings.

But you wouldn't believe me.

I'm sure girls have said that to you time after time and now you won't even notice if someone like me is following you.

But you saw me. You looked right at me, our gazes met. Though you did nothing.

I smiled sadly as you walk sullenly down the street. I watch you closely, wishing you'd turn around and see me watching you. Then you'd come back over and talk to me, ask me for my name. You'd tell me you saw me, and then I'd be happy.

Oh how I want to be happy.

The only way I could be happy is if I was with you.

And that won't happen.

And so I'll never be happy.

But now at least you've seen me.

Wait, are you turning around?

No, please don't. Don't turn around don't look at me.

But didn't I just say I wanted you to see me?  
  
Yes, but please don't.

You slowly turn and look at me.

I gaze back into your eyes, I can feel my face flush again.

You've seen me again, but you do nothing.

You don't even smile. All you do is look at me and then turn back around and walk down the street until you've disappeared completely into the heavy fog.

Tears sting the back of my eyes; you've finally seen me.

But unlike my dreams, you did nothing.

Your face was still cold and determined, your slate hair blew slightly in the wind. Your red-wine eyes gazed into mine.

And I did lose myself.

But you did nothing, you just turned and left me alone.

Now as the tears fall from my eyes all my dreams shatter of you.

I know I'll never have you and all my dreams have shattered.

Although my dreams are shattered, I still think of you.

The dreams are so much harder to handle now that you've seen me. Now that what I've said is true, you will never share these feelings with me.

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I know it's no good but please drop me a review anyway. 


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